Spandywear Plus

You can't ignore a juggernaut holiday like Christmas, even with a blindfold and a cigarette, it's inescapable. I don't know how the non-christians deal with it but I'm already sick of it and it's only just passed.

I joined a gym today, a big one with personal trainers and machines and classes and everything. I'm pleased with my athletic ambitions, I even have a plan: Matt hooked me up with a printout of the workout that one of the Olympic teams does on a daily basis...for me it will be on a weekly basis until I can handle the work and breathing involved. It is intense but curiously old-fashioned exercises. I could have gotten by without joining the gym, but I wanted to because I don't own any equipment and there are like three exercises I can't do without a pull-up or inverted sit-up situation. I'm gonna be buff! I'm gonna be...big.

I've never had to deal with any body issues before because I've just always been short and athletic but small...petite, in a word. But now I'm anticipating actually adding muscle and weight in a crazy way, eating way more than ever before so that my workouts don't eat into my muscle. I'm scared of looking different than I have before, but it's not vanity, it's just that I've seen what old football players look like after they've gone to seed and it ain't healthy looking. I'll have to keep this up unless I want to look like a baggy old pair of pants! Can I do it? I'm a little scared because I'm not exactly miss stick-to-it, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I really want to be able to compete in kayak racing so if this is the only way, then so be it! Let the races begin! In a year or so!